True Romance

I love Risk! and I acknowledge that it certainly takes guts to share life experiences with the world, but I found Asher’s story to be incredibly upsetting. The comedic elements he incorporated are jarring when combined with his cool retelling of Kat (Cat?)’s passing (read: monkey dress). It also seemed incredibly odd that Asher would choose to mention the fact that she was a “starter girlfriend” and describe his apathy about the initial decision to date her. It felt very disrespectful to speak of a dead person in this way…if she was a relative or friend of mine, I would feel defensive and upset. Kat was portrayed a victim, but also somewhat pathetic, which most people would find unflattering. Though it’s seems likely that his portrayal of her was dramatized, one-sided, and not accurate, she’s not here to defend herself, and that makes it worse. If his intent by sharing his story was to own his missteps/culpability and make himself out to be a complete dick, he did a masterful job. I cringed harder during this episode than I ever have.

D’Arcee Neal – I am so disgusted, but unfortunately not surprised, that someone from my hometown would say something so horrible to you. From another Portlander, my apologies for the ignorant hateful comments you had to endure. PDX has some serious growing up to do. But we’ve got a lot of great people, too, so please don’t let one asshole ruin Oregon for you!

I have been a loyal Risk fan for a couple years and am a patreon (that is to say i’m a Big fan). I am a white heterosexual female from the rural east coast without physical disabilities and i found D’Arcee Neal’s story to be one of the best i’ve heard. Thank you, Mr. Neal, for your courage, despite the assholes that you’ve encountered. (Sorry, Kevin, no offense to the ass as a hole).

REF: “The Departed” by Asher Novek

This was an unsettling tale; distastefully wrought. Novek’s perspective suffers from a coldness and tone-deafness that seems hard to reconcile with the theater family – make out – best man – business. The whole thing was sour, self centered and lacking in a soft touch deserving of a story involving a teen’s very sad demise. Sure, it was Novek’s tale, not Kats (sp?), but the departed are owed a tip of the hat, not a poke with the iron.

We are all imbeciles in high school. And I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to get up and talk about it, so some of the sting of my critique should be muffled by that. I am glad he absolved himself. He should have.

Novek’s nonchalance may have been an act, a self deprecation bit. But there is a sadness in his story that comes off as having to no good end or purpose, and certainly thought provoking only insofar as one wonders how to turn away from a photograph that you wish you had not seen. I hate being so harsh, but I feel like standing up for Kat. I know that sounds odd. I also reserve the right to have misunderstood the tone of the story, and may have missed his sarcasm with himself.

Agreed with all the comments on Asher Novek’s podcast being just truly unsettling and a frightening look into the thoughts of someone with no self awareness!! Listening to Novek’s telling of his high school “girlfriend” and her suicide, it was all about him and how he seemed to want to be the reason she “went over the edge”.

At the end of his telling, I just wanted to scream- It’s not about you, none of this story is about you! Her story should not be tailored to be about your vanity! I was waiting for him to say “and I felt like I should have been in her note, in the pictures at her funeral…and feeling that made me realize that I have just been selfishly thinking about myself this whole time. Instead of thinking about myself, I wish I could have said or done something to help her through this.”

It’s one thing to be in high school and be so self-concerned, but he is telling this as someone older who framed this tragic event in an awful way. And I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt, but there was such a lack of remorse or sympathy in the telling…at the end he doesn’t seem upset but almost glib that he could be part of the reason…

I suppose it is an honest telling of someone who is apathetic but just wanted to tell a dark story and somehow pretend they are the most interesting part of that story. The story wasn’t interesting in his telling either, very rote and boring. But it’s frustrating (at best) that he gets to tell this story so the focus of the story is about himself versus the person who it should have been about.

I guess I’m most mad at having had to listen to some mediocre person telling this story as a way to make themselves seem more deep and interesting. Basically- fine, no one is asking you to care. But since you don’t seem to care, don’t use it as a prop to pretend you’ve grown from this, or this has made your understanding of life richer. Because from the sound of it, you are still that mediocre teenager. It’s not even about judgement on whether he cares or not (though that is disturbing), it’s his co-opting of someone else’s pain to boost himself up. F* that.