Song: RISK! Theme by Wormburner and John Sondericker
Song: Sahara 72 by Bobby Hughes Experience
Live Story: Dramatic Reenactment by Erin Popelka
Live Story: Under His Eye by Thandi Davis
Song: Capsized by Andrew Bird
Live Story: Deliverance by Tim C.
Song: Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
Absolutely incredible! This episode has inspired me. I can only hope that the feeling I’m having now of wanting to build up the courage to share my story will stick with me. I am so thankful for the stories that are shared on this podcast! Life is interesting, isn’t it?! Not only do I want to share my story, but please, all of you, share your story with me. Looking at a stranger has not and will never be the same. Beautiful!
WOW. I’ve listened to every episode of the incredible Risk Show and have never felt so moved to comment as i do now after listen to this episode. specifically the 3rd story by Tim C. My core is palpitating with both rage and sadness. Thank you for sharing and i can only hope i can make thru this day without constantly replaying this in my mind. What a beautiful stage this is.
Tim C., Thank you for your service to humanity. You are a hero. You have earned your retirement ten times over. I am still shaking after listening to your story, with rage and heartache. I wish for that little girl to be among angels angels. I wish for you to find peace from PTSD.
Tim C’s story had me silently weeping. Thank you for 17 years of service in that field. I’m very sorry that the PTSD was the result. But you undoubtedly saved so many children. Thank you.
I was truly disturbed by Tim C’s story. All of the stories were fantastic but that one will stay with me for a while.
Thandi your story really moved me and I am so happy that you were able to overcome the abuse that you suffered. I am Christian and it pained me to listen to how your trust was abused and used to manipulate you. Only wished you could have somehow gotten the message to your partner so that he could have seen what a lie they were all living.
All the best!
Although your third story was heart wrenching I must say hearing yet ANOTHER police officer wax on about how he should be able to take someone’s life without due process is disturbing. The circumstances were traumatic but isn’t they why he should be trained.
Thandi Davis should have had some self-respect, why let something happen to you that you know you don’t want. He pushes your head down and still you stay silent because “you can’t do anything about it”. You weren’t overpowered, you weren’t raped, you were even asked for permission and you gave it. Then you come and tell a story and say you were abused. You could have said NO from the beginning. No don’t smell my feet. No I don’t want you to smell my feet, “hey what are you doing?” take your feet back.
I don’t feel sorry for you Thandi, you literally gave your permission for all of this. Respect yourself, you don’t want to be touched, then nobody touches you, if you were raped that’s different but you weren’t. The man shouldnt have taken advatage of you, there are many men like him. Predators but he asked you and you said yes, he did something you weren’t comfortable with but you kept your mouth shut and pretended it wasn’t happening right before your eyes because you were scared of being rejected or disapproved of. You didn’t want to make anyone unhappy with you even at your own cost.
That is called foolishness Thandi. You can’t please everybody and your happiness should come before a man who is not even your boyfriend. Worst case scenario, you said no and he said you cant marry my son, you tell David what the father did, and if he doesn’t take it well it would be painful but you cut your losses and leave. When you marry David, the same father of David would see nothing wrong with sleeping with you or raping you because you first gave him permission.
Two things-
– re: Wima: i fucking hate police brutality and how the system is built to destroy people of color as well as people of lower incomes and the non “elite.” Tim C, in my mind however, doesnt fall into that category. I was sexually assaulted as an 8 year old child, and now i have a 9 year old child. The idea that someone would utterly destroy a small human being in the worst way possible puts me into a blind rage as well. Tim did restrain himself, and I’m so glad he did because he may be wondering if the girl’s suicide had something to do with killing her “father” if he had. Tim, thank you for sharing and i truly hope and pray that you will find some healing from the ptsd you have.
2nd-vedran, i cant believe you went there. You have clearly and thankfully never been brainwashed by religion, but you need to understand that that is real and really fucking hard to see through when you’re in it. Damn that was raw and fucking cruel to say that shit to Thandi.
Neither Thandi nor Tim presented their stories as if they have no regrets, feel they made no mistakes, and so on. If Thandi had had another 20 minutes, she could have gone on and on about how intoxicating it was to be a troubled young girl who found some sense of belonging in this cult. The peer pressure, the extremely patriarchal, alpha-male energy behind it all, and so on. She says she wasn’t finding the wherewithal to say no in the moment. And she has since. Tim expressed that he wanted to kill the guy but that his better judgment and respect for the law held him in check. All our storytellers are encouraged to share what they wanted to say or do versus what they actually said or did under pressure. Or what they were maybe even unconscious that they wanted to say or do in the moment.
Re: Vedran
I am so confused by your assessment of Thandi’s experience. Are you a woman or a man? I don’t think you understand the complexity of manipulative abuse. Thandi was not welcoming this foot licking bullshit, she was confused and unsure of what was happening because a father figure to her who is a “man of God” was doing something he preached against. I don’t think she nor most people could comprehend what was happening to them in that type of situation. And the escalation of the matter happened because women in society are conditioned to be submissive. It is so crazy to me that this is your reaction. The way Thandi dealt with it is unfortunately how a lot of young women would handle this situation, that is why predators like this monster can get away with it cause they groom/stalk their victims. I don’t know what story you heard that you could possibly think Thandi was into this abuse. She was scared, confused, alone- exactly the type of person this fucker was looking for. You, Vedran are an asshole piece of shit prick and there’s no way you have ever had to experience what Thandi or many of the rest of the female population have to deal with. Go fuck yourself you self righteous shit.
I am a blubbering mess after listening to Tim’s story. You are a hero.
Tim C., I can’t get your story out of my mind. Confused, angry… who in his senses would do what this sick bastard did to his own children?! Thank you for existing! I really feel for the girl and the boy. And for the many other out there…
Echoing 12 and 13. I collapsed in fits of tears during Tim’s story; I’m amazed that he can tell that story and hold it together and be as beautifully clear as he is/was. And I can’t stop thinking about it. The degree of utter inhumanity that lived in that father; the damage he wrought on his children; the convoluted ways their little brains had to function to keep them surviving and functioning. Thank the universe for Tim. What a gentle, heroic soul.
Just curious, do we know (or get to know) what sect of Christianity Thandi was a part of? Was that 7th Day Adventists? Nazarenes? No pressure to disclose, I’m just curious.
Ye gods, but this was a hard listen. I love this podcast. Thank you to all the brave people who share your stories so courageously, and who bare your dark moments for the sake of human connection. You have me in stitches and tears by turns. You are so moving. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Tim’s story. It’s been two days since I listened and I feel scarred by it. A heaviness that won’t lift. And if that’s how I feel from just listening to it, I can’t imagine how Tim feels having lived it. Thank you, Tim, for the work you’ve done. The world needs warriors like you. Those children needed a warrior like you. I can only imagine what kind of personal cost you have paid.
Absolutely breathtaking show, thank you so much – especially to Thandi and Tim, both of whose stories were so immensely affecting. I ended up arriving late to a social occasion after listening to Tim on the way there – had to take a walk around the block a few times and have a beer to shake it all off.
@Krista – agree wholeheartedly. ‘Police brutality’ is such a bizarre fucking angle to take on that story.
Wishing you both all the very best in finding your respective peace.
Tim C. you’re story made me tear up on multiple instances. Thank you for your courage and service to save those kids from that horror they were living. Terrible their inner demons got the best of them
I am always listening while I drive, while I do data entry at work, at home while playing Candy Crush. All episodes are good, some are great. But, I know I’m in a powerful one when I have to pull over, or just stop what I’m doing, because the story has fully taken over. Tim C., what you experienced was horrific, and yet it was only a fraction of the horror that the children went through. I was in tears. I am sorry for what you had to witness, but I am grateful to all of the people (like you) out there who dedicate their years to fighting against this atrocity. Thank you for fighting still, by sharing and making people aware. God bless.
This episode shook me to the core. I truly hope Tim can mentally “Retire” from his career and find peace and acceptance. As a single Father, not having my child everyday due to custody, these are real worries I have. Not knowing where my child is or whom their mother is allowing them around and other unforeseen situations.
I will never understand how we as people are capable of such terrible things. But, it’s good to know that people like Tim risk their lives both physically and mentally to ensure or try to save the life of another child / person in such extreme situations. I salute you Tim and thank you for all you did throughout your time in that world.
I simply cannot believe that Vedran’s comment has been allowed to stay up. I thought this community believed in love and support, not personal attacks and victim blaming. I have never been as offended by an episode as I was by their comment. While I believe there is a place for constructive criticism in the comments, Vedran’s comment was not meant to be constructive, but rather hurtful. I sincerely hope that their comment is removed, and that they find themselves banned from future comments. I do not believe their lack of compassion and overt hostility should be welcome in our community.
“A lot of shit going around here that ya’ll don’t know about.” -Tim C. I hope more people stand up and speak about violence and sexual abuse. The cycle of silence and shame needs to end. Victims are told to stay quiet and forget about it. The pressure to remain silent will come from everywhere. Survivors need a voice. Abusers need to know that they can’t harm someone and continue their lives without the truth coming to light. Tim, thank you for speaking up.
I hope some day this world won’t be so terrifyingly scary and unsafe. I love love love Risk, but this one was extremely tough to hear.
Tim, thank you for you and your work. That rage is endlessly painful.
Finally, thanks to Kevin and Risk team. On the off chance of a truly better future, your podcast and the stories told here are so damn needed.
I agree with Sierra. I have seen comments here that were as simple as, “I didn’t like this story! The storyteller is annoying!” that disappeared, and yet for some reason, Vedran’s comment is still here. Vedran, what is wrong with you? I hope you never have a friend who confides in you about a situation like Thandi’s.
Thank you so much to Tim C for sharing his story. My father worked in child abuse as a police officer for 8 years and also left it with PTSD. I didn’t know he had it until years after and I feel like he dealt with it alone. I wish I could have been there for him when he was going through it. Your story helped me understand what he was going through in a way. I hope you have found your peace….This is exactly why I love Risk!!!
What an incredible story Tim.. Heartbreaking.. I hope there’s more people like you saving the humanity or whatever is left of it..