Live From Salt Lake City!

I have been an EMT for 10 years and now I am an intensive care unit nurse. R. J. Walker’s story explains how I feel ever day. I wish that everyone who I know and love could listen to his story so they can understand why I am the way I am. He so eliquently put the critical care communities feelings into words. Thank you so much for validating my every day experience.

Hearing Kate Kelly’s story back-to-back with Blake Hopes’ story kind of made me feel like she’s fighting to be included in a club that does some sick things to people. I’m sure that’s not what she intended, and she is brave for standing up to a bunch of old bullies, but its hard to believe that anyone thinks the Church is love after hearing how they torture gay kids like Blake.

As a struggling queer who was raised LDS and is finally starting to break away from the “perfect Mormon girl” mould that I was forced into since birth, I can’t say enough how much this collection of stories meant to me (especially Kate Kelly and Elna Baker’s stories). They hit so close to home. I was on my own LDS mission in a foreign country when I caught wind of this controversial news about Kate Kelly and the Ordained Women movement. My missionary companion at the time was very vocal about how “ridiculous it is” and how “as women we should be proud of all that we bring to the Church” blah blah blah (which really makes me laugh scornfully), and I was left beside myself. I wasn’t completely sure what to think about the matter. The day-to-day schedule of a missionary is insane and because our internet access is restricted, I wasn’t able to do any research or spend much time pondering this during my mission. But now that I’ve been home for over a year, everything is really starting to fall into place and click. These feelings of inequality and simple unfairness — feelings and emotions that I’ve been feeling basically my whole life — of what I don’t have available to me because of the gender I was born have really boiled over, and Elna Baker’s story gave me the courage to say “FUCK IT!” outloud (which I’m trying to teach myself not to cringe at) and be myself. The colorful, queer, dress-hating, anxious me. I’m taking baby steps and distancing myself from my family and the Mormon community. Like Elna had done, I had been taking a break from the church for at least 8 months. But now I’m really stepping away. Bye bye sacrament meeting, toodle-loo Church get-togethers, hello new and exciting experiences.