Episode #931
Date May 14, 2018
Run Time 1:08:23
Dana Norris, Ian McIntosh and Jamie Fadden-Cannon tell stories about postpartum blues, racism in dating, and a very dangerous love affair.
Song: RISK! Theme by Wormburner and John Sondericker
Live Story: The Fog by Dana Norris
Interstitial: Cry Baby Cry (Buncha Babies Remix) by The Beatles
Live Story: Gray by Ian McIntosh
Song: (Don’t Worry) If There’s a Hell Below We’re All Going To Go by Curtis Mayfield
Live Story: Blood on the Tracks by Jamie Fadden-Cannon
Song: Who Knows Who (feat. Fanny Franklin) by Orgone
Song: RISK! Theme by Wormburner and John Sondericker
Live Story: The Fog by Dana Norris
Interstitial: Cry Baby Cry (Buncha Babies Remix) by The Beatles
Live Story: Gray by Ian McIntosh
Song: (Don’t Worry) If There’s a Hell Below We’re All Going To Go by Curtis Mayfield
Live Story: Blood on the Tracks by Jamie Fadden-Cannon
Song: Who Knows Who (feat. Fanny Franklin) by Orgone
Dana Norris – THANK YOU.
For Ian McIntosh,
I’m so sorry you went through that. I just want to comment on one thing. You said that you validated the mom’s beliefs by not defending yourself. I hope you know that’s not true. You listened to your instincts. Those instincts told you that engaging with this person probably wasn’t going to change her mind, and could well have escalated the situation. You defended yourself by getting out safely instead of banging your head against a brick wall.
Dana Norris is giving me a panic attack. :-0
@Ian, man that’s one of the most powerful stories of love. How is it that all such great stories come out from deep personal suffering?! I could picture your love for this girl, that is something!
@Jamie: I wish you luck. But I can’t feel your pain, I am sorry. I hoped to hear that you have had the courage to leave this Ben of yours after the abuse you so vividly talked about. That you didn’t makes me less sympathetic towards your travails.
Jamie, sounds like you have now come a long way away from those train tracks. When courageously sharing your difficult story, I hope you know you do not have to have everyone’s sympathy or understanding to believe in yourself and your own path. Some people choose to blame or judge the victim. Let’s just wish them to never be able to truly understand the inside of such a relationship.
Keep gaining your own strength!
Dana—thank you so much for sharing your story. It is similar to my own—after having my twins, I was alone, and struggling to cope with the reality of having two babies literally attached to me at all times. I tried the “perfect mom” thing, attempting to breast feed, failing, attempting to pump, failing, surviving off of thirty minutes of sleep at a time between pumping, feeding, burping, soothing, and repeating, until I too felt as though I were nothing but a human milk machine. Eventually it was this “loss of self” that caused me to give up my hopes of being the “perfect” mom, and realize that I was still a human, with a story, and weaknesses, and a right to choose which path was right for ME. Once again, this show has put the fact that I am not alone right directly in my field of vision. Thank you.
Ian—My heart hurt for you as I listened to this story. Truly. Thank you for shedding light on an experience that shaped you, and is probably not all too foreign to other people of color, but that others (myself included) couldn’t have imagined would have ACTUALLY happened in REAL LIFE until they heard your story. In telling it, you are opening people’s eyes to the not-so-pleasant reality, and that is both courageous and inspiring. Thank you!!
@Ian Your story took me back. I, too lost my best friend of 15 years. It’s been 12 years since he left the voicemail uninviting me to his wedding (I help set him up with his wife). Before that day we shared everything and we were both just two people who cared about each other and enjoyed being friends. As we got older, the fact that I was black and he was white was an issue with his family and friends. When I allow myself to think about it, I wonder if we would still be friends if I were white.
Listening your story made me realize that I am mourning a loss. 12 years later it hurts but I realize that his inability to stand up for me, for our friendship is his loss.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Oracle of Delphi – I thought an Oracle was all knowing? Obviously you didn’t bother to listen to the entire story before you logged in to chastise Jamie (maybe you fell asleep?). She did find her footing and her courage and her will. Those are all things you would do well to emulate before you give in to the urge to judge others out of ignorance. The world needs more thoughtful, evolved people like Jamie and fewer folks eager to put down others out of some mistaken notion of superiority. We’re all just humans trying to make a life here.
Millions of people stay in abusive relationships long after it’s clear that the relationship is abusive. Just like millions of people engage in self-destructive habits long after it’s clear the habits are self-destructive. There are many, many reasons that people end up feeling stuck or have a hard time finding the wherewithal to make a big change. Victims of abuse deserve to be heard with compassion even if they didn’t escape their abusive relationship at an early stage. Melanie Hamlett’s story Unbreakable touches on some of these issues. The version that will be included in the RISK! book is even more detailed.
@IAN – I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I am so very sorry. I wish you the best, most beautiful life. You deserve it – I can tell you are a caring man.
Ian, your story was amazing! And Seeker’s comment is spot on. Your instincts (and civility) kicked in. Right on. Thank you so very much for sharing your touching story. You sound absolutely lovely.