Episode #1026
Date April 08, 2019
Run Time 1:06:37
Adrien Behn, Tyson Robert and Susanne Binford share stories about painful sex and a family’s loss.
Song: RISK! Theme by Wormburner and John Sondericker
Song: Cineramascope (feat. Trombone Shorty and Corey Henry) by Galactic
Live Story: There Will Be Blood by Adrien Behn
Interstitial: The Penis Gash by Jeff Barr
Live Story: Contraction by Tyson Robert
Song: Small’s Paradise by Love Lake
Live Story: Butterfly by Susanne Binford
Song: This Feeling by Alabama Shakes
Song: RISK! Theme by Wormburner and John Sondericker
Song: Cineramascope (feat. Trombone Shorty and Corey Henry) by Galactic
Live Story: There Will Be Blood by Adrien Behn
Interstitial: The Penis Gash by Jeff Barr
Live Story: Contraction by Tyson Robert
Song: Small’s Paradise by Love Lake
Live Story: Butterfly by Susanne Binford
Song: This Feeling by Alabama Shakes
it’s getting to the point….i gotta be honest with you guys, i don’t know how much more of this i can really take. i’m so tired of the mutilation of men being met with cackles and applause. first it was a woman who jumped on a man she had a crush on and *snapped his ankle in half*. the audience erupts in cheers. a women takes a frozen dildo the size of a baseball bat and shoves it up a blindfolded man anus who has no idea what’s coming— OMG LOLZ. (hopefully that only required minor surgery, and he’s not currently shitting in a bag for the rest of his life). followed by the darling story, an unsuspecting man is smashed so hard in the face by a woman his *eyeball pops out*. AAAAHAHAHA CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!
this particular “single celled organism” you call a male is fucking exhausted. this fucking nasty, toxic shit, day in and day out. i listen to this podcast to get some relief from this crap sandwich we call life, not be subjected to more fucking bigotry and hate, that just gets more and more and more virulent every week.
clapping when a man’s eyeball pops out? what the FUCK is wrong with you people?
I’m very glad Tyson’s story ended the way it did. Note that I genuinely believe being deprived physical intimacy is valid cause of suffering. However, the entire time I could not stop thinking about how emotionally and physically painful the ordeal was for his ex-wife.
I’ve been through something similar (although not as severe). The feeling of betrayal by your own body is crushing. As important as it is to be proactive about your well-being, I’m not surprised she was resistant to confronting it for so long. I hope she has found some peace.
In every incident Matt described, no harm was meant to the man, the woman did what she could to help him out when things went wrong, and everything turned out fine. Even the sex-with-Satan role play the guy consented to involved the pro-domme first getting his consent beforehand that she could anally penetrate him. The guy who asked the woman to slap him in the face did not tell her he’d had eye surgery earlier that day, which makes his instruction for her to hit him in the face as hard as she could seem like a bad idea on his part. I hear an audience mostly gasping and nervously laughing about accidents or overreaches, not so much hating on men.
I totally get that Adrien’s joke about men being about as mindful as single-celled organisms when they’re nearing orgasm is insulting, but… it’s not far off from how I feel when nearing orgasm! – Kevin
Years ago I too almost fainted at a live Telling of RISK, back when it was at the PIT. It was a story about a guy talking about his wife giving birth and she got an epidural and he told her to aim for the wall. I excused myself and was able to get to the bathroom across the hall where I fell to the floor in childs pose because I was starting to get tunnel vision, and good thing I did that position because that kept me from faining. I’ve been told later on fainting from hearing a story like that is called vasovagal syncope and it happens to a lot of people, and people who do have that turn out to be very empathetic because they kind of put their feet in the shoes of the wounded individual.
Anyway, long story short, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who’s felt like passing out at a RISK show lol! And to the empathetic guy who passed out, I hope you’re doing better my dude. My heart goes out to ya, I’ve fainted a bunch in my life and it’s rough! <3
Great stories btw all amazing!
Keira,
I’m glad you liked the ending. The ending of that story is VERY important to me. While the lessons learned part at the end was told in summary, it by no means is the smallest part of the story. My bride was—and while we are divorced—she will likely remain the love of my life. My regret for not seeking help personally in those early years of our marriage is something that I will carry the rest of my life.
When reading about Vaginismus I feel it is important to keep coming back to the word “involuntary” in the symptoms (“…The vaginal tightness results from the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor…”) It truly isn’t the fault of the women afflicted with this problem. While telling the story I focused on my firsthand experience: the pains and subsequent changes one goes through when in a long-term unconsummated marriage. The other side of the story—her experiences, the details of pain, shame, anxiety and the wicked cycle that feeds itself causing a terrible spiral where the fear of trying makes the symptoms worse is something I tried to illustrate; however, there really isn’t a way a man looking in from the outside can fully explain what it is truly like for a woman with Vaginismus. The heartbreaking online testimonies from women with this problem were what we found when we “Googled it”. It was those stories that we finally found that lead to a path to treatment. I hope more women will come forward and continue to tell their stories about Vaginismus, as I believe that being open and vulnerable with those stories is what can really help others afflicted with this issue to feel less shame and isolation. Nobody has to be alone in their problems.
On a personal note: Telling this story was very difficult. I truly feel being open, honest and vulnerable is important, and I would have liked to openly state my full name, but this story is not my own alone, so the moniker used was done to honor the wishes of others tangentially connected to this story. There will be a day when our daughter learns the full story of her parents, and that narrative will be one presented by both of her parents in a safe place where she can ask whatever questions she likes. That whole story isn’t one that can be told on stage. To that point: the help that Kevin and his team provided was spectacular; because at one point I sent them a near 30 minute rambling slog that covered the last 20 years of my life and it took a hell of an effort to edit into a story that could be told on stage. Truly, I couldn’t see the forest from the trees when I started working on this story; because, all of the details mattered and mixed together in my head and heart, and I needed help to find the threads that could be told in this format.
Telling this story changed my life. It helped me unpack feelings I still had partially buried. I cherish Kevin and his team for all their help in enabling me to share this particular story.
-“Tyson Robert”
Wow. Such incredibly powerful stories. Thanks, as always, for sharing such personal journeys with us.
While I understand that the Vaginismus is a diagnosed ‘pathology’, i just wanted to throw this out there for people with vaginas, and also especially for people who like to penetrate vaginas, as there are many practical tips for relaxing and preparing vaginal muscles for penetration: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure by Sheri Winston. I have never been diagnosed, but this book has been essential to sexual success with my partner.